I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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