youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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