I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
