just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
