My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
