I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just gift wrapped bread.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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