3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
