i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
