I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
