got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
