the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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