dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
