So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
