Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
