This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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