I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
