I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Randomize
