I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
