you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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