did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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