I am in a vortex of obligation.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
