around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
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I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
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Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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