That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So much rum. So many feels.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
