I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
They left me at home... I'm a liability
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
