Well apparently he's into motor boating.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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