Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
