If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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