Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
