Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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