I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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