My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
