I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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