i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
