; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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