I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
