i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
