I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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