And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
