I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
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