i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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