your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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