i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
