dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I take back everything I said about communal showers
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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