she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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