Please, let me fuck your mom
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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