Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
