Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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