I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.