So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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