Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.