Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I cockslap morals
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week