To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.