Tell her she can't have a vagina
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER