i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
