No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
