you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize