I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
