People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Quick, to the slutcave!
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
