Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize