i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Randomize
