i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
