I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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