Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
pop tarts are not kleenex
i think i scared a bird with my dick
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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