I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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