That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
