hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
