I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
