I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
