remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
