Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
