There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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