we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
